


Gone But Not Forgotten (Or Forgiven)

by captainscarletwanda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:22:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23551498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainscarletwanda/pseuds/captainscarletwanda
Summary: he was supposed to come right back. he promised he was coming right back. and yet two years have passed with no sign. he left you for her. how could you ever forgive that?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Gone But Not Forgotten (Or Forgiven)

**Author's Note:**

> warnings ; slight Peggy bashing, sorry. also, a n g s t.
> 
> A/N ; This was an entry for @coffee-with-bucky ‘s 2k writing challenge on tumblr! Congrats to them on their well-deserved followers! My prompt was Dialogue #4 - “I’m not some toy you can play with!”

When you met Steve, you fell fast and hard. He had always said he felt the same. You had known about Peggy, the amazing woman from Steve’s early life that he had loved. He had constantly reassured you that he was over that love and his past life.

So when he went to return the stones he held you in his arms, tightly, the way he always did. But this time you knew it felt different. It felt like a goodbye. but you brushed it off. He said he would be right back, and he wouldn’t lie about that, not when things could go catastrophically wrong if he messed up on the mission. And you loved him enough to trust him and his words.

But when he stepped onto the platform, he had a smile that you knew all too well. The smile he got when he talked about Peggy. But you had heard Thor talk about seeing his mother there, so you figured that he would visit her before returning.

You were wrong. Very wrong.

Banner said approximately five seconds. You counted impatiently, standing alongside Bucky and Sam. When Bruce started messing with his equipment you turned to look at the men next to you panicked. Sam had his brows scrunched in confusion, and Bucky had a smile on his face. A sad, sorrowful smile.

“What happened? Is-is he alright? Bruce?!“, you yelled at the green man worriedly.

“I don’t know, just give me a second I don’t know what went wrong!”, he pressed buttons furiously on the panels before him.

You were about to go into full panic mode when Bucky placed a hand on your shoulder, and you heard Sam whisper, “Dammit Cap.”

“What? How are you not panicking Buck he could be trapped or-or hurt or…” Your sentence trailed off as you came to realize the outcome of Steves’s departure. He left you. For her.

Bucky’s hand on your shoulder gave you a comforting squeeze as you felt the tears well up. You stalked off immediately ripping the stupid necklace he gave you off your neck and taking his stupid jacket off and throwing it onto the dirt. 

You didn’t let the tears fall until you were back at the apartment you shared, your home. But apparently, it wasn’t good enough for him. You looked on your mantle, seeing all of the photos of you two. Happy, sure. But was he? You thought you’d be together for a lifetime. But you guess what that was was you being stupid and naive, and the next thing you knew you were taking the stupid photos and throwing them on that stupid rug he begged you to get when you two first moved in.

You don’t remember much until Bucky found you on the floor. He stood in the doorway shocked, amazed at the damage you had done. Glass was broken, chairs were smashed, he was surprised the cops weren’t called.

And in the middle of it all was you. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy, arms and legs bleeding because of the glass you had carelessly thrown. He didn’t want to think about what state the rest of the place was in.

So he made his way over to your limp body, noticing you stare at a broken picture frame and swooped you up in his arms. You let him, not focused on much besides the love of your life leaving you.

“I hate him.”, he hears your hoarse voice whisper to him.

“No you don’t.” he sighs in response, readjusting his grip on the almost lifeless girl.

“You’re right.”, she replies, and the tears start up again. But they’re silent, soft. As if she could barely cry any more.

—

The first six months she doesn’t do anything that reminds her of Steve. She stayed at Wanda’s apartment, who had been kind enough to allow her to stay there while she dealt with her pain. She was even gracious enough to get her new clothes since most of her’s smelt like him. She refused to say his name, go back to their apartment. Hell, she doesn’t talk to anyone who was close to Steve.

That is til one day Bucky all but busts down Wanda’s door and forces himself inside. He finds her immediately, curled up on the couch watching reruns of ‘The Bachelor’ and tears the blanket she had secured around her off.

She doesn’t even have time to process what’s happening until Bucky speaks as he guides her to the bathroom. “You’re going to lunch with Sam and I. You have 45 minutes to shower or do whatever before we’re leaving. I’m sick of hearing from Wanda how lifeless you are.”

Reluctantly, you get ready. You shower, brush through your lovely ratted hair and for the first time in months you realize that you need to stop being sad. You’ve had your time to be, sure it’s been an extreme grieving process but you had it none the less, and it’s over.

Bucky doesn’t expect to see you confidently coming back to the living room, smiling in what Wanda would later confirm was for the first time since him. Of course, everyone knew it was a fake smile, but you were trying. You looked put together and clean for the first time in months, so no one was complaining.

The lunch was great. The three of you talked laughed, and cried over the man that had not just abandoned you, but them as well. It really helped you, and it was your first effort into going back into the real world.

—

The next six months were spent going back to the apartment. You had made a mess of the place when he left, and you wanted to fix it and pack up your belongings. the first thing you did was grab important things, things you had missed. Mementos from the other Avengers, clothes that you made sure to wash four or more times to get the smell of him off, and then it was time to clean.

You told Bucky, Sam, and Wanda they could trash all the pictures of you guys, his jackets, anything that was his. But after a long night of cleaning the three of them took them out of the garbage back they were carelessly thrown into by you and neatly packed them away, and agreed to store the memories at Sam’s house.

The furniture was sold, walls repainted, and it was like Steve, or you had ever been there. You sold the apartment back to the owners of the building, and you said your final goodbye’s to the place you and him had spent your relationship in.

—

The start of the second year of Steve’s (you could finally bear to say his name without getting teary-eyed) absence was getting you back on your feet. You found an apartment near Bucky’s, only a five-block walk. And regained your job at S.H.E.I.L.D. Granted you had never lost it, but they understood that you were dealing with a lot of hardships and agreed to give you a year’s break.

But when that year was up you felt more than ready to get back in the field. Bucky and Sam had been helping training you for your return and Wanda was there for moral support. When you passed the S.H.E.I.L.D. agent fitness test, you were ready to go. Most of your missions were with Bucky, Wanda, and Sam. You and Bucky would cover the ground on missions, the others helping you from the sky.

About half a year into the rhythm of how things went, you got shot. The bullet went clean through your stomach and it took hours of surgery to get you pieced together. When you awoke, Bucky was clutching your hand in both of his, eyes squeezed shut as he rocked his head back in fourth.

“Buck?”

He nearly jumped out of his seat as soon as he heard your voice. He pressed the button for the nurse and pressed a long kiss to your head. “Doll, never do that again.”

You chuckled, but winced at the pain, “Wasn’t trying to ya know.”

—

After four weeks in the hospital and learning how to use a cane for when you were released, you had escaped the clutches and was greeted with a caring Bucky Barnes. throughout your time in the hospital, he was with you the whole time. He had helped you get to and from your bed, get you food, and once or twice had to help you bathe. And all he could talk about was how you getting shot made him realize he might be in love with you and begged for you to let him take you on a date as soon as you felt better.

You almost said no. But then you remembered all he had done for you, how he had cared for you and how he had helped you though Steve’s leaving. And you said yes. 

—

It was July 4th, the night of your and Buckys (hopefully) first date. You had gotten dressed up, but not too much as he had told you the plans previously. Dinner, walk and then going to watch fireworks. 

He said he’d pick you up at five, and you were ready at 4:45 when you heard the doorbell. Thinking he must be early, you excitedly open the door with a grin on your red-stained lips to find him.

Steve.

Your face slowly drops as you see him his smile does as well for reasons you could care less about. He has flowers. He shows up here after two years, after two years of leaving you a heartbroken mess which you have finally recovered from, finally ready to start a new chapter of your life with fucking flowers.

You have half a mind to start screaming in his face and slam the door on him but instead, you stand there in shock.

“Y/N.”, he nervous stammers out, “You look-”

“Great for someone who’s boyfriend, who supposedly loved them, left her with no warning to go fuck some woman you had love 70 years ago?”, you violently spat the words at him. Arms crossed defensively over your chest.

He looks down, bouncing on his heels, “Ye-yeah something like that.” You can barely hear him say the words. You can tell he knows he’s screwed up, but before any more words can be exchanged Bucky arrives, looking dashing as ever. Truly like a knight who’s about to save you from a dragon.

He starts to light jog up to you with the smile you’ve started to realize you have fallen for when he sees him. “Steve?”, he wonders, mouth hanging wide.

“Buck, hey pal.”, Steve turns around giving Bucky a good view of the flowers he brought for you.

Bucky’s eyes harden in an instant, jaw locked. “Steve you need to leave. You shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m here to apologize okay? Y/N, I’m sorry I left-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Steve.”, you move forward snatching the flowers from his grasp, ”I’m not some toy you can play with! To throw away when you get bored so you can pick up an old one with memories because you miss the feeling of it!”, You angrily pluck the tops of the flowers, red roses, the kind he used to buy you when he wanted to apologize, onto the floor. “I’ve moved on, I don’t miss you anymore Steve so if you think you can pick this toy back up and act like nothing happened you’re wrong.”

You throw the now headless bouquet to the floor as you walk past Steve’s sorrow-filled face and take Bucky’s arm in yours. “Besides, I’ve found someone who wouldn’t throw me into the dirt because he misses someone who he kissed once 70 something years ago.”, Steve watches as you kiss Bucky’s cheek, making everything clear to him.

Bucky clears his throat and for the first time since his arrival speaks, “Doll, why don’t you wait in the car, I’ll be down in a sec.” You nod at him, throwing one last glare at Steve, the man who broke your heart, and a soft smile to the one that healed it, before heading down to the car.

Steve speaks softly, “Buck how could you?”

“How could you? Pal, she doesn’t love you anymore, I don’t think I could either after what you put her through.”, Bucky solemnly stares at Steve before sighing, ”Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to get to.”


End file.
